I shouldn’t be blogging right now. I am fortunate to have quite a bit of work in my queue. My son had a good interview, and I want to be excited for him. I am grateful that my family is happy and safe. Yet, I feel paralyzed. I am in shock, blanketed in that feeling you get when someone has passed. I can’t get my arms around the horrific events at the U.S. Capitol yesterday.

There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said all over the internet. I am writing with the hope that if I transcribe my thoughts, it will help me process and regain a sense of normalcy. Funny, yesterday, I wrote an article for a company’s website about how to be more productive. On days like this, the tips I wrote are worthless. I can’t focus, and all I feel is fear.

I was up until 1 a.m. because I desperately needed to hear that the election objections were dismissed. I needed to see Biden’s electoral count exceed 270. I needed assurance that democracy was in action. Since I woke up, I’ve been listening to NPR, reading The New York Times and other news sources, reading blog posts and watching YouTube videos. They all say the same thing, of course. I guess I wanted company in my thoughts.

I am consumed with a sense of fear. I fear lawlessness, bigotry and ignorance. I am afraid of the people that broke through barriers, disrupted the democratic process and terrorized people simply doing their job. The driver of their actions will soon be history and hopefully irrelevant to our future, but what about the aftermath? The crowd’s ire and delusion will remain. My fear is that POTUS followers will find a new insidious leader who will be equally evil and maybe smarter. We can’t be complacent. We have to stay vigilant.

People are talking about punishment and impeachment. I don’t disagree, but I think actions of retribution and ejection are too simple. To our new administration, I plead with you to find a way to be heard by people who are misguided and feel marginalized. Make them listen to you because they are not going away. Sects can’t be impeached. If that pressure cooker is allowed to continue building steam, I worry about the country my grandchildren will grow up in. Will their generation be able to ensure that only leaders who respect, uphold and safeguard democracy for all Americans are elected? Or will hatred and ignorance fester and manifest in other ways?

There, I’ve unloaded my mind. Maybe now I can get back to work, continue to cherish my freedom and try to find comfort in the fact that the democratic process won. At least today.