, , ,

As Elle Woods said to the bewildered congress in “Legally Blonde 2,” we need to discuss something of the highest importance – my hair. More specifically – hair stylists.

Changing hair stylists is analogous to breaking up an intimate relationship. While these caring individuals are very sweet and devoted to their clients’ beautification, it is clear this is a cutthroat business. Like a jealous boyfriend, beauticians can be quite possessive, fostering a smothering and guilt-ridden bond. Have you ever dared to try another stylist while yours was on vacation? Not me.

Whenever I had my hair cut, I would schedule another appointment for the next visit. But sometimes I wanted to try something new. However, if I tried to veer from this routine, I would get the evil eye with sharp scissors in hand. One day, my stylist had an emergency and arranged for someone else to cancel our appointment. I never rescheduled, taking this opportune circumstance to break up the relationship. Months went by and I ran into her at a local store. We were cordial in a politically correct way, but I could tell she was scrutinizing my hair; question marks filled her expression. It was so awkward.

Meanwhile, I had started to patron a walk-in salon that did not take appointments. At first, it was like a breath of fresh air. Walk in, get serviced by the first available cutter, pay and leave. It was a transaction with no strings attached; a one-night stand. Doesn’t that sound like the perfect solution? I thought so.

As it turns out, when you frequent a walk-in salon on the same day of the week each time, it is inevitable that the same two or three people will provide the service, and one of them may push to become exclusive. This was the case on my last visit. Hints dropped with the subtlety of a grenade that I would be much happier with my hair if I used the same stylist each time, the assumption being of course that she would be the chosen one.

So I here I am again, on the prowl for my next hair professional. Maybe I should run a classified ad: Seeking noncommittal, safe-style coiffure professional. First I have to fight off the pangs of guilt and rid myself of the feeling that I’m a cheating girlfriend. As Elle Woods said, we have to fight injustice when it comes to our hair.