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man working underneath car

It was time to turn in the leased car and lease another one. Hubby was so excited. He got a sweet treat on this day of trick-or-treat. At the risk of sounding sexist, I don’t know any women that have the same orgasmic experience that men have when it comes to a new car. For me, a car is simply a means to an end. I’m looking for function and he’s looking for an expensive new toy. I wish he felt that way about his iPhone 4, which he refuses to upgrade. At this point, he should keep the phone for a few more years, sell it as an antique and apply the money toward the next auto. But I’m getting off topic – back to my story.

Before we left to pick up the vehicle, I suggested a side trip to Home Depot on the way home. He reacted as though I had committed blasphemy. “You don’t take a new car to a shopping center parking lot!” to which I responded, “But aren’t you going to take the car to go shopping?” “Yes, but not on the first day.” I wondered what the cutoff was: the second day; after the first scratch? Understand I am very detailed. I need to know the rules.

When we left the dealer, his tune changed a bit. Proud of his wise selection, he wanted to savor the moment, boasting of the smooth, quiet ride. To my surprise, he suggested stopping at Staples. “I thought you didn’t want to go to a shopping center with your new car,” to which he replied, “That’s a different kind of shopping center.” I’m so confused.

While we’re on the subject of cars, I noticed something was missing from the experience. What happened to that new-car smell? Although I am a proponent of removing toxic fumes from the environment, I must confess that I’ve always relished that olfactory freshness. Perhaps I should start a petition to bring back the new-car smell, one that is non-toxic and environmentally friendly, and I don’t mean those vile trees you hang on the mirror. On second thought, never mind. If I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to pitch it, someone would likely steal the idea and make a fortune. Look what happened to Kramer’s scent idea: