Life is quiet again, at last. No more sorting, carrying, loading and unloading boxes and bags filled with the remnants of a life that has passed. Rearranging, cleaning and organizing rooms that were once lived in only to become hollow and dark, grew tiresome and dismal. The house smelled of stale air and old age. Struggling to make up for the lack of motivation by one still grieving, I adopted a stewardship role. A whirlwind of decisions – throw/ donate/ keep, when to schedule this and that – became a drain. Finally, acquiescing to hire professionals to help led to increasing complexity. Managing service providers from a distance presented logistical and stressful challenges, which would have been prohibitive had it not been for caring, trustworthy neighbors.
It’s over now. My father-in-law has been laid to rest, his artwork, books and other select items transported from his home to mine, for the next generation to one day repeat the exercise of sorting, carrying, loading and unloading boxes and bags filled with the remnants of a life that has passed. And so it goes on.
I haven’t blogged for three months. My writing business was demanding and I served my clients well with words they needed, but felt restrained from the zone that allows me to write freely. Unable to tame the thoughts spiraling wildly, and caught up in control mode, I lost the capacity to let my own words extend from brain to fingers to white space. Now, as I alight from this journey, I am happy to return to a creative outlet that helps me sort, carry, load and unload my own boxes and bags filled with the remnants of a life that has passed, and helps me filter stories that keep evolving.
This story has a happy ending. Within walls freshly painted, on floors finished to a shine, my son and his family have permeated the house with color and light. It’s their home now, brimming with love and warmth, and baby laughter that bounces off the walls like rays of sunshine. New boxes and bags carried, loaded and unloaded, filled with cozy blankets and music and toys and teething rings; the beginnings of a life with new stories to unfold and memories to build.
Life is quiet again and it feels good to be home.