Always the self-critic and perpetual editor, I should never read my own posts. Sometimes I do, like when I receive a comment long after the post is published and I forgot what I wrote. I saw an interview once where an actress said she never watched the dailies, which I learned are views of the previous day’s shooting. I can appreciate that now.
Sometimes I gasp as I catch a typo or missing word – how did I not see that before in spite of proofreading ad nauseum? Sometimes I feel the context is off. Did I make my point or was I too vague? Did I dive too deep or not enough? It’s not that I’m trying to impress an audience or draw the attention of publishers. I just blog for me, but I’m a tough crowd. For example, no matter how many times I read tips on the proper use of that annoying reflexive pronoun, myself, I am compelled to review the grammar rules each time. Thank you grammar girl!
I even read my own emails when I receive a reply, especially if the response is surprising. I try to detect what words prompted the return message, good or bad. What did I say to set this person off? OR Wow, I wrote that? Pretty damn good!
Rereading this post, I have essentially described myself as a cross between a masochist, perfectionist and narcissist. I prefer to think of myself as a continual learner. I am enamored with words the same way I enjoy puzzles, recipes and projects. There is gratification in gathering separate components and making them whole. Yes, I do look back and second-guess myself, relecting and often obsessing on how I could have made it better, but isn’t that how we grow?
Sometimes I cringe when I read my old posts. So I try not to do it often…
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It’ good to do when you want to beat yourself up or pat yourself on the back. Per Forest Gump, it’s like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.
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Ha, too true.
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I totally feel you. I am obsessive about my own writing, which makes me wonder if I’m a narcissist, which makes me chastise myself for reading what I write, which makes me not read it, which makes me wonder if I fear reading my own writing because I fear seeing mistakes that I made, which also makes me wonder if I’m a narcissist. AND this comment on YOUR post has been totally about me, so … maybe I am one! Anyway, great food for thought! Earned a follow from me for sure.
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Thanks, Tom. Creating food for thought – that’s my goal.
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When I read this post, it was as if I was reading about myself. I’m always rereading what I write, whether it’s a blog post or a corporate e-mail, and oftentimes I’ll wince at a misused word or a grammatically incorrect phrase.
I seem to be in a phase now where words are missing from my e-mails. I won’t detect it during proofreading, but once the e-mail’s sent, the error stands out right away. (Funny how the errors only stand out once the “sent” button has been pressed.)
But like you said, I believe that’s how we grow. I try not to reread and self-criticize, even though that’s my natural tendency. I just try to think of small ways to make it better next time. Maybe I could use a more creative phrase, or a more rhythmic wording to make my point.
I’ve never understood filmmakers who supposedly don’t watch their own movies for that very reason. Without viewing the final result, how do they learn and grow?
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Something else we have in common😊
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