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This year has been one of several disappointments. Some are my own doing; choices made that did not reap the intended results. I took time off from blogging to study for a certification that, in the end, I decided not to pursue. Then I lost my groove to write. Rarely one to take a vacation, I planned two this year, and they were both disappointing.
Also, I have come to the conclusion that people are generally disappointing. It’s naive of me to think that people will not change. After all, I change all the time. In fact, change is part of my tagline for this blog. So I should not be surprised. Yet it does; catch me by surprise that is, when people I feel close to reveal a level of insensitivity not seen before. It makes me question my own expectations though I don’t think they are very high.
I expect that someone who always had my back always will and that someone would hold back on the brutal part of brutal honesty. I expect family to show kindness and friends to go the extra mile. When someone remarks on my being thin, I expect it to come across as a compliment, not an insult. At work, I expect email responses within a reasonable time. At home, I expect fast service from my oil company when the heat is not working. I expect RSVPs to invitations and a commitment to plans made. I expect that clients who tell me they are sending me writing orders will actually send them.
I don’t expect my insurance rates to increase when I have a clean history of no claims. When I host a party, I don’t expect people to get offended when I decline a guest’s offer to wash my dishes. When I dine with friends, I don’t expect them to go into a rage if I’d prefer not to share my dish. If morning coffee addicts are cranky, I don’t expect them to take it out on me. If I display planning and organizational behaviors, I don’t expect to be labeled as a control freak. I don’t expect people to tell me what they wish I had done or not done when I can’t change the past. I don’t expect a sharp retort in response to an offer to help.
I guess my first resolution for the new year will be to banish all expectations of other people. I always set the bar too high for myself though, so I will likely to continue to disappoint me. Not much I can do about that.
Oh, could I tell you stories! I’ve had a similar year, eerily similar in fact. 2018 can’t end soon enough for me. I wish you a much better 2019.
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Really, Fransi? Do tell – I’d love to hear your stories. Or have you already posted them?
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Haven’t posted them. Maybe I will one of these days.
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I’m sorry that it’s been one of those years of disappointments Gail, I hope the next one will bring better things.
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That’s the great thing about a new year, Andrea – the promise of better times ahead.
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What I learn and what I continue to learn daily is we can only change ourselves and in working on ourselves we often set the bar much lower for others…
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Agreed, msw – Understanding we can only change ourselves is the fabric from which healthy relationships are woven. But I think when we set the bar high for ourselves, we inevitably raise the bar for others. Knowing we’re not superhuman but still manage to get it together, it’s only natural to wonder why others can’t do the same.
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Desperately needed to read your post tonight..thank you! Knowing someone feels the same makes me, feeling this level of disappointment, less guilty somehow. It amazes me the things that make me feel such disappointment….we shouldn’t settle by lowering our expectations. Surely we deserve the same we give others!
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I agree we deserve better but think it’s best not to expect it. Then sometimes…I am happily surprised. Like not expecting anyone to like my post and then receiving your wonderful comment. Thank you.
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